Music for Bill, Robert and Friends
I took the Light Rail a few days ago. I was sitting near a man with a one year old on his lap. The kid was screaming. I said “He’s really spoiled, isn’t he?” The guy said “No, he always smells this way.” Bacon and Eggs walked into Cahoots. Jesse …
– Cahoots – BERNIE TAUBERI’ve been Working on the Railroad Ragtime Cowboy Joe McNamara’s Band Alexander’s Ragtime Band Aura Lee Atchinson Topeka and the Santa Fe Streets of Laredo On Top of Old Smokey Yankee Doodle Dandy Red River Valley & You are my Sunshine Me and my Shadow
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet. Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says. Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.” Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. “Your …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE If you can’t think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of getting old. I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. My goal …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “I’ll have five beers, please.” Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve noble gases here.” Despite the bartender’s rudeness, the helium doesn’t react. A golf …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A sandwich walks into Cahoots. Jesse says, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve food here.” Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll have an H2O please” The second scientist says, “I’ll have an H2O too.” The second scientist died. A man is struggling …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope. Did you hear about the kidnapping at Maryland Elementary School? It’s okay. He woke up. Why does …