Away with Rum by Gum

SALVATION ARMY SONG (TETON TEA PARTY SONG)

(author and composer unknown; learned in Cal Band at UC Berkeley in 1952;
-it became popular in the 1960s as a theme song for Teton Tea parties
-with many additional verses being written for it as shown below)

We’re coming, we’re coming, our brave little band.
On the right side of temperance we now take our stand.
We don’t chew tobacco because we do think
That the people who use it are liable to drink!
Away, away with rum, by gum, with rum, by gum, with rum, by gum,
Away, away with rum, by gum, that’s the song of the Salvation Army.

We never eat fruitcake because it has rum.
And one little bit makes a man like a bum.
Now can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

We never eat cookies because they have yeast,
And one little crumb makes a man like a beast.
Now can you imagine a greater disgrace
Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

We never drink beer because it has hops,
And one little glass gives a man the trots,
Now can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man drinking beer and trotting all night?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

We never eat oatmeal because it’s just mush,
One little spoonful turns a kid to a lush,
Now can you imagine the pain of a ma
Than to see little Junior act just like his pa?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

We never drink milkshakes, ’cause milkshakes have malt.
And one little sip brings your mind to a halt.
Now can you imagine a horror more rash
Than a man in the drunktank with a chocolate mustache?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

We never drink vodka, we never drink gin,
For vodka is Russian, and gin is a sin.
We think that we all would be better off dead
Than to sit and drink vodka until we turn Red.
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

We never eat apples ’cause they are the food
That Eve gave to Adam to make him feel nude.
Now can you imagine a sorrier clod
Than a man wearing fig leaves and hiding from God?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..

Now we’re all in the hands of the devil, you see.
He’s trying to tempt you and to tempt me.
Now can you imagine the trap that we’re in
When everying we want leads us straight into sin?
Away, away with rum, by gum…..