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  1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
    A stick!
  2. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
    Envelope.
  3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at Maryland Elementary School?
    It’s okay. He woke up.
  4. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
    Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
  5. So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey. You can’t come in here. This is a singles bar.”
  6. E-flat walks into a bar. Jesse says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
  7. Two jumper cables walk into Cahoots. One of them says “We’d like a couple of beers, please.”
    Jesse says “Okay, but don’t start anything.”
  8. Cynthia and I were at a Marriage Counselor: He said “Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?” I replied that never knew she sold flowers.
  9. Why did the Mary Lou bring a ladder to Cahoots? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
  10. A penguin walks into a bar.
    Jesse asks, “So what would you like to drink?”
    The penguin doesn’t answer because penguins can’t talk.

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