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- What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick!
- What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
Envelope.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at Maryland Elementary School?
It’s okay. He woke up.
- Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
- So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey. You can’t come in here. This is a singles bar.”
- E-flat walks into a bar. Jesse says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
- Two jumper cables walk into Cahoots. One of them says “We’d like a couple of beers, please.”
Jesse says “Okay, but don’t start anything.”
- Cynthia and I were at a Marriage Counselor: He said “Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?” I replied that never knew she sold flowers.
- Why did the Mary Lou bring a ladder to Cahoots? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
- A penguin walks into a bar.
Jesse asks, “So what would you like to drink?”
The penguin doesn’t answer because penguins can’t talk.
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