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  1. A sandwich walks into Cahoots.
    Jesse says, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve food here.”
  2. Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll have an H2O please”
    The second scientist says, “I’ll have an H2O too.” The second scientist died.
  3. A man is struggling to find a parking space. “Lord,” he prays. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.”Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man says: “Never mind, I found one!”
  4. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
    A nervous wreck.
  5. A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
    The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
  6. What did Hobs exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
    “Thanks— I’ll never part with it!”
  7. What did one hat say to the other?
    You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
  8. Two peanuts walked into a bar patronized by a rough crowd, and one was assaulted.
  9. The last man on earth walks into a bar, and says “Drink, I’d like another bartender.”
  10. A skeleton walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says, “I’ll have a beer and a mop.”

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