Music for Bill, Robert and Friends
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says. Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.” Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. “Your …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE If you can’t think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of getting old. I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. My goal …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “I’ll have five beers, please.” Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve noble gases here.” Despite the bartender’s rudeness, the helium doesn’t react. A golf …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A sandwich walks into Cahoots. Jesse says, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve food here.” Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll have an H2O please” The second scientist says, “I’ll have an H2O too.” The second scientist died. A man is struggling …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope. Did you hear about the kidnapping at Maryland Elementary School? It’s okay. He woke up. Why does …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE I have always been a disappointment. When I was five years old, I looked down at the crayons I was colouring with and sighed: When I was two, this was not what I saw myself doing at five. I called the doctor’s office yesterday, …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He asks for one beer, and one for the road. “Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. …
RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with …