A comedy song by Aaron Wilburn.

OTHER TITLES

  • How can I miss you, if you won’t go away.
  • If the phone doesn’t ring, you’ll know it’s me.
  • When you leave, walk out backwards, so I think you’re walkin in
  • If I shot you when I wanted to, I’d be out by now
  • If you won’t leave me alone, I’ll find someone who will.
  • I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
  • I’m sorry I made you cry, but at least your face is cleaner
  • The oil is all in Texas, but the Dipsticks are in D.C.

IF MY NOSE WAS RUNNING MONEY

C                                 F              C
You say that I don't love you you say my love is untrue
                                     D7               G7
Well darlin' if I was a rich man I'd prove my love to you
    C                            F               C
I'd buy you a diamond ring and a new fur coat or two
                                       G7             C
If my nose was running money honey I'd blow it all on you

C                                 F              C
If my nose was running money I'd blow it all on you
                             D7           G7
I'd buy you a Cadillac and a new Mercedes too
    C                      F                 C
I'd build you that mansion up on the mountaintop
                                 G7         C
If my nose was running money but honey it's snot

C                                      F                C
If my nose was running money we could have anything we please
                                       D7            G7
The first time you wanted cash all I'd have to do is sneeze
    C                                      F                  C
Why we'd be living high on the hog and the hog wouldn't be so lean
                                           G7             C
If my nose was running money honey we'd be rollin' in the green

       F                          C
It's a booger of a problem that I got
                                          G7
I wish my nose was running money but it's snot
    C                        F            C
I'd buy you a Cadillac and a new Mercedes too
                             G7                 C
If my nose was running money I'd blow it all on you
                                   G7                 C
If my nose was running money honey I'd blow it all on you 

Extra Verse and Chorus:  

[Verse 4]  C F C If my nose was running money, We could eat out all the time,  C G7 G The fanciest restaurants in town is where we'd go to dine,  C F C We could blow my nose, pay the check, right before we'd leave,  C G C We'd give the waitress a great big tip what I'd wiped on my sleeve.  

[Verse 5]  C F C If my nose was running money, Let me tell you what I'd do.  C G7 G I'd buy you a John Deere tractor and get rid of that old gray mule.  C F C I'd carry you down to the store and buy you a brand new pair shoes.  C G C Then you'd not have to be plowin' bare footed the way you always do.  
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