This was our second viral YouTube video ever. The song was conceived around a dinner table full of, ahem, older friends. The enchilada dish was exquisitely and lovingly prepared. At a table of 8 we had the following medically necessary diet restrictions: Gluten-free, Lactose-free, no alcohol, need for Beano, low sodium, low carb, no sugar. A song was born as we passed around the Beano, Lactaid, Pepcid AC and gluten-free, alcohol-free beer.

lyrics

[Intro – You know Dasher…]
I made [Am7] turkey and [Bm] stuffing and [D7] hot mashed po-[G]-tatoes
[Am7] Yams and a [Bm] ham and some [D7] fried green to-[G]-matoes
[Em] But I [B7] had for-[Em]-got
What my [D] friends could have or have [D7] not:

[verse – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]
[G] David could not eat cheddar
Cuz it clashes with his [D7] meds
Scott’s on a low carb diet
Couldn’t sample any [G] breads

[verse – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]
[G] Michelle could not eat onions
cuz they filled her up with [D7] gas
Nina could not have eggnog
cuz it knocked her on her [G] ass

[bridge – Then one foggy Christmas Eve]
[C] I made Martha [G] Stewart’s tart
[C] Sweet and [D7] high-[G]-falutin’
[D7] that 6 people could not eat
[Em7] cuz it contained [D7] gluten

[verse – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]
[G] Donna could not have shellfish
or she would asphyxi-[D7]-ate
There wasn’t one damn item
that could stay on Jonathan’s [G] plate

[bridge – Then one foggy Christmas Eve]
[Am7] My souffle was a [Bm] masterpiece,
[D7] so light and so [G] airy
[Am7] But my guests couldn’t [Bm] eat it up
cuz [D7] no one there ate [G] dairy

[Em] I broke [B7] down and [Em] wept:
If you’re [D] vegan, then why’d you [D7] accept?

[verse – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]
[G] Rick got on his podium
on and on and on he [D7] went
about the evils of sodium [plus how!]
He’s lactose intoler-[G]-ant
Bergam was prone to bloating
Couldn’t eat the [D7] broccoli
Nina gets acid reflux
Everytime she looks at [G] me

[bridge – Then one foggy Christmas Eve]
[C] When I put the [G] turkey down
[C] JonSchilling [A7] had to [G] say
[D7] “Ever since the world began,
I [Em7]  can’t eat no [D7] tryptophan”

[verse – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]
[G] Everybody at the table
Was getting up in years, you [D7] see
So we skipped the meal all together
And talked about our [G] surgeries

Print Friendly, PDF & Email