Music for Bill, Robert and Friends
‘Thief’ caught after trying to rob same bank two days in a row: cops October 7, 2021 | 7:36pm They say criminals always return to the scene of the crime – but a bumbling California bank robber didn’t even wait a day before he came back to the branch… Shocked …
Las Vegas rapper arrested after he allegedly ‘confessed’ to murder in music video September 8, 2023 | 12:46pm A Nevada rapper was arrested on murder charges after implicating himself in a music video of the crime, by sharing details of the crime that only a killer could have known, police …
Pick your poison There’s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. …
Taking the Bull’s Pills An elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulate the bull’s interest. A few weeks later, the farmer ran into a friend, who asked, “How’s …
Not At All Surprised According to a new report, adverse side effects occurred in over 3,000 women who used Botox last year—when questioned none of them seemed surprised. —Crystal Lowery Dropped Out The last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of all …
Matching wedding bandwidths Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. —Will Ferrell RD Issue: June 2021 RELATED: Hilarious Marriage Memes Every Married Couple Can Relate To Doggone! At the bank where I am a teller, …
Foregone conclusion One Sunday, Pastor Andrew played hooky from church so he could shoot a round of golf. St. Peter, looking down from Heaven, seethed. “You’re going to let him get away with this, God?” The Lord shook his head. The minister took his first shot. The ball soared …
Keyed up On a visit to my doctor, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had installed taped music in the waiting room. As I sat there enjoying a piano recording, I overheard an elderly lady say to her companion, “Just like these young doctors—a crowded waiting room, and …
Seafood for thought Jerry Eddy went into Elaine’s Restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The staff person smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…” —Horse & Rider RD Issue: February 1981 RELATED: 101 Fish Puns That Will Split Your Gills The devil, you …
Just desserts Last Birthday Celebration in the Bistro, Cynthia admonished me. “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” I answered “Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.” —Selma Glasser, Good Housekeeping RD Issue: March 1981 Boyfriend trouble Our granddaughter …