Taking the Bull’s Pills
An elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulate the bull’s interest. A few weeks later, the farmer ran into a friend, who asked, “How’s that bull?” “Great!” said the farmer. “The bull is back to his former frisky self.” “That’s fantastic. What miracle drug did the vet prescribe?” “I don’t know,” said the farmer. “But it tastes like licorice.”
Two Brothers
There was a man with no arms, who rang the church bell, but he did it with his face. He would run, crash his face into the bell, and a beautiful sound would echo across the valley. One morning, as he rang the bell, it started to swing, and he missed the bell and plummeted to his death.
Two people passed by and the first wondered who it was. The second said “I don’t know, but his face rings a bell.”
PASSAGE OF TIME
His brother, with the same disability and same skills took the job, and the same thing happened. Straight down to his death. The same two people looked down, wondering who THIS one was. The second said “I don’t know, but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
Through a Red Light
You know, Hobs was driving to California when he approached a blinking red light—the equivalent of a stop sign— He drove straight through without even slowing down. A cop hit his siren and pulled him over. “Why did you drive through the red light?” the cop asked. “I didn’t,” Hobs said.
“I saw you.”
Hobs shook his head. “I went through between the blinks.”
“I saw you.”
Hobs shook his head. “I went through between the blinks.”
A panda walks into a bar.
He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door.
“Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!”
Sure enough, panda: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
Superpowers
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?”. The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies. The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
