Seafood for thought
Jerry Eddy went into Elaine’s Restaurant and asked for a lobster tail.
The staff person smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…”
—Horse & Rider
RD Issue: February 1981
RELATED: 101 Fish Puns That Will Split Your Gills
The devil, you say
Did you hear they arrested the devil?
Yeah, they got him on possession. —Gregg Siegel
RD Issue: February 2006
Timing is everything
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
—Eldon Weisheit
RD Issue: April 1997
All bottled up
“We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel.
By the time I was 14, I owned my own house.” —Gene Perret, Classic One-Liners
RD Issue: June 1997
Drink up!
Sandy called Pricilla over: “Pricilla, I’d like a bottle of wine.”
Pricilla: “What year?”
Sandy: “Well, I’d like it right now, please.”
—Earl Wilson, Field Newspaper Syndicate
RD Issue: October 1984
