Music for Bill, Robert and Friends
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Taking the Bull’s Pills An elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulate the bull’s interest. A few weeks later, the farmer ran into a friend, who asked, “How’s …
Not At All Surprised According to a new report, adverse side effects occurred in over 3,000 women who used Botox last year—when questioned none of them seemed surprised. —Crystal Lowery Dropped Out The last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of all …
Matching wedding bandwidths Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. —Will Ferrell RD Issue: June 2021 RELATED: Hilarious Marriage Memes Every Married Couple Can Relate To Doggone! At the bank where I am a teller, …
Foregone conclusion One Sunday, Pastor Andrew played hooky from church so he could shoot a round of golf. St. Peter, looking down from Heaven, seethed. “You’re going to let him get away with this, God?” The Lord shook his head. The minister took his first shot. The ball soared …
Keyed up On a visit to my doctor, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had installed taped music in the waiting room. As I sat there enjoying a piano recording, I overheard an elderly lady say to her companion, “Just like these young doctors—a crowded waiting room, and …
Seafood for thought Jerry Eddy went into Elaine’s Restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The staff person smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…” —Horse & Rider RD Issue: February 1981 RELATED: 101 Fish Puns That Will Split Your Gills The devil, you …
Just desserts Last Birthday Celebration in the Bistro, Cynthia admonished me. “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” I answered “Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.” —Selma Glasser, Good Housekeeping RD Issue: March 1981 Boyfriend trouble Our granddaughter …
Holy cow! A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.” RD Issue: October 2003 Where there’s smoke “Once, my father came home and found me …
Facts from Gloria Potter followed songs about those particular facts Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times! Doggie in the Window Gold is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the …
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything. What does a hamster have in common with a cigarette? (Pause) They’re harmless, unless you stick ’em in your mouth and light them on fire. – What do you call a fish with no eyes? A FSH Be decisive. …